Where is the hickey?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
