The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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