It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
