it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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