week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
