Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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