shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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