i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Also, beer. Big fan.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
