I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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