Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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