Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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