Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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