omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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