Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize