Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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