Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize