I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
