Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
