Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
