When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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