I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
