Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
