Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
