Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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