And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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