it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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