I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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