there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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