i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
