how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
