She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
