Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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