a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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