I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
