Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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