actually, I'm a sock model
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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