HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
