so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
