uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
