dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
