How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
