don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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