I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
