just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
