Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
