all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
