you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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