Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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