i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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