I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
