WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
