if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
