I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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