worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
