At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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