Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize