i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
How does it feel to date your dad?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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